There is a person at the other side

Yes. you can say its all words. Well, words are a lot. This one would focus on relation between couples, new ones and a little more years experienced. Its all got to do to what we come from home with. Just paying attention in filling the smallest of things can make the biggest change. It could do such a change in the mystery world the two of you live in. Its nothing complicated. You my think it is because every where you point your look, there are splitting couples. Hey. The first thing you got to do, in the way i see it, is understanding what you want. Maybe, like me, you envy those old couples holding hands at the peer and deep in you want this. Lets not talk about those who want the other thing. Its just not kind of blog. :0. So after agreeing about the first choice we know what we want. Wanting it is just not enough. Wrong!!! It is. I think it all need to come from the understanding that there is a person in the to other side. It all became so...ugly. I don't really know how to bring the thing I feel to your screen, I just hope you feel it. Words, soft ones, are something to practice on. Its all about making...make room for some mooshy stuff...feel special. You came home from a hard day, that's great. You are not alone. there is someone else in the next room that also just came from a hard work day, maybe harder than you had. come on!!! Ever thought of it that all it takes is for you to listen. Just listen. All I am saying is that if you love- show it. Make it look like its important to you. Don't be lazy. Of you would- it won't bring you holding hands in your elderly. 

I don't know, maybe it just me but I think its huge. Experience it. The outcome would be instantly in shape of a smile, of hug or just a a eye piercing look. Respect. Respect is the key of relationships. A lost one. Find it and use it. The door wants  to open. don't ever think you deserve less. 

They need less than you think

Think about how you would react. Put yourself on that smelly other man's shoes. Would you be able to stand with this behavior? I think not. And what if that man had a rough day? I assume it wouldn't be bothering you too much. Well...it should and it should not. Let's dig in some more; let's focus on relations between parents and their young children. It's something I can write about a lot. What is in your mind a "working" family? a one that have money, or maybe a one were parents have great relations wi

th their kids, parents that spent a lot of time with them. Well…Leaving names a side (my sister's own familyJ), I see, what looks from a stranger's look: a working family. For sure. Well...it's not. Yes, financially- it's great. But, and I know you can think about just one family that fits the description, within something is ju

st not right. Parents don't have patient (not just to each other...But, let's say that their children need to catch them in a good time to...J). Few months ago I read an article saying that today parent pay like 8 minutes a day with their children, whereas 20 years ago it was two hours or so. And don't tell me it got to do with all the "rat race" we are in, those parents. That's bull. Yes, there is a lot of pressure on the modern parents, but the ones who should be suffering from it are not the kids. We just feel more comfortable throwing this situation on the reality. Think it out...would you as a child like it if your parents would spent like 8 minutes a day with you. Hell no. parents 

are just not getting it. Let me say it like that; your children need much (much) less than you think they need. They need you. Yes. Not some bob the builder bulldozer or a Dora the explorer doll. You know what I think- I think parents need those toys more than their children. These toys making you feel good with yourself that you don't have the time or will to be more time with your children. Don't for a bit think that some toy can substitute this precious time (for you also). They just need you being there for them. Asking how the kinder garden day was, who their friends are. A hug. A big one, a bear like one. A smile. Trust me. Remember and think how did (I hope not nod) you missed it when you were their age.
Listen, to me. Listen to your sense. They don't need more. They need less. They need you. Relations.

 

Alternatives we have...or don't have

In some cases (maybe all of them), we chose to put our problems in the hands of someone else. I think this is choosing the easy way, a way to escape. Hear me out. Listen to you. Look around; so much people are looking for someone to guide them, who will show them, in my opinion: n-o-t-h-i-n-g. Well, nothing we don't already know. And what a magic- it works. Why? Because you want to make that person who is giving you that magic advise happy. This situation got some goods and bads. The good thing is that a whole new profession is born; telling, for a whole a bunch of money, what all of us already know and making us pay for it. The bad thing is that people stopped thinking. This is bad folks. yabadi yabadha! Ok. I'm not saying it doesn't work. It is, but in my eyes it can be done by a lot less, and when the solution comes from within- it's a lot more powerful. This brings us to a stage where we need some stranger or a top selling new book to teach us how to "succeed" in the simplest everyday situations. This makes us and I confused. Well...the way I look on it is that we don't need anybody to mess up with our life. Think about it; it's a serious thing we are talking about. All we need is to set the cables free. We don't need them. There are a lot of ways that by using them we can make so much of a difference. Example: Family. Calmness- one of the milestones. One of the keys for making it better. Not such sophisticated ha? Well it's not. The understanding of its importance- is. What the hell am I talking about?? How in all of mothers can I stay calm when… (Fill it in your mind- I'm sure you will find something :)). That's the thing. The understanding that so much is affected by you and that your love ones are adopting your behavior consistently while you like it or not. As parents, your family's is your own mirror. Your children are little you. Again, it's all about paying attention and understanding that we are not alone. We, if we want it or not, have an immense affect on others. When parents understand it, when shop workers understand it, when doctors understand it, when you and I understand it- all will benefit. 

 

It's everywhere..look for it

Here is my third post...This would be the last one where I explain the purpose of my new blog. Well, as you read...this blog is about...Yes! Relations. 10 points. In my eyes we take some things for granted..Sometimes that good, sometimes, like in this case- it's not. This third post will be followed by posts that explains how in a single everyday situation, so much can be changed for good by improving the way we act. The fun fact is that a change that is made in an everyday situation is like throwing a stone into a lake; the influence it has (some of it you will not be aware of, and some would not only affect you, but on so many people (some of them you don't even know)) is immense. This consists to the second post, where I ask: "what if we were taught wrong?"- the "funny" thing is that maybe we are unaware how much we influence our surrounding by the way we act, by the way we relate to our children, parents, strangers and even to a shop costumer. Think about something nice, that made you smile..I assume maybe it didn't happened today and maybe not even two days ago...Am I right? Well...You remember that time when someone treated you nice (different than you would expect to) and that leaves you with such a feeling...That you can't explain, but for some reason- this feeling just stay there. In you. Never the less, a nice experience with a person makes you wondering. My goal is to change the way we look at each other, to understand that our true goal is not achieving something false like 200000 billion gigabyte to our palm or laptop...oh maybe it is, but there is something before that. so much things can be achieved with not much more than a smile, calmness and courtesy. It's those simple things that are the mild stones of a bunch of fields trying to be fixed with the wrong tools. Fields that can benefit from making a change within are (those would be a subject to write about in the future):

- Family

- Marketing

- Couples

- Friends

- Work

I assume you got, based on the above, an idea on how so much can be cured based on understanding where we need lead ourselves. Take a look at those four fields, N-O-N-E of them are new to us. They are here, in our world, forever, but the "how to..." in every one of them is being taught and explored until today. People manage to send a guy to the moon but are still having difficulties in the most "simplest" of all; one of them who I find as an art, is building a family…"Making it work". Just work. It's not easy and I'm not saying to have a magic tool for it...But I am saying that it's all related to the way we act. Yes you got it right- relations!